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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 08-07-2018, 06:46 AM   #4391
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Default Re: the FUCK YOU thread

Conversation I've just had with my boss:

Boss: Have you done those reports?

Me: We agreed with the new process you implemented that the figures in them wouldn't make any sense anymore and would be meaningless. When the new guy starts that's one of his tasks to get a new type of report together.

B: Yes but I would like to see them.

M: But what do you need them for?

B: I have a board meeting next week and I would like to get them together for that.

M: But they will literally be meaningless, the figures will not reflect anything in reality, we had an hour long meeting where we discussed exactly what we were going to say in that meeting, and say we wouldn't have figures for a few months but we were going to put together a new, better report to reflect a more realistic set of numbers.

B: Yes but I would like to see them.

M: But it will be pointless, you are asking me to produce a set of meaningless numbers?

B: Yes.

M: Right. OK.

B: Good.

*I put my earphones in, start watching Last Action Hero on Netflix, make up a bunch of numbers.

This is why I'm leaving in 4 weeks. Fuck this.
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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 08-07-2018, 06:57 AM   #4392
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Default Re: the FUCK YOU thread

Hahaha, I didnt know you were in the military Cookie

SHIT HAPPENS!!!!!
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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 08-08-2018, 07:29 PM   #4393
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Default Re: the FUCK YOU thread

So. As most of you know I live in Colorado.

Well, a couple years ago I got a speeding ticket in Kansas. Pretty sure I paid the ticket online when I got home. Right hand doesn't talk to left hand and the people in charge of suspending licenses aren't the same people that collect the monies... or something. So Kansas sent a suspension letter to Colorado, who then suspended my license. Like... two years ago.

Nobody fucking told me. Until the officer responding to my old house getting broken into was like "Hey BTW you know your license is suspended?"
Of course he had no other info so I called the Kansas DMV and they pretty much said "We don't keep info on out-of-state people, we forward it to the state of residence so talk to your own people."
Then I called Colorado DMV and they said "We don't get that much info on this shit, we just get a letter telling us to suspend a license number. Talk to the Kansas people."

At which point I decided this was too fucking stupid to be worth my time and forgot about it.

Then I got pulled over a month or so ago. Cop was like "Hey so your license is suspended" and took my license but let me ride home, which was cool. But now I really have to deal with it... can't buy beer and stuff without an ID.
So I called Kansas again, explained what was going on, and they said "We have no record of any tickets or anything related to your license number or SSN in our state." I asked if I could get that in writing, and they said I had to mail in a written request with a $15 check for the processing fee. Fags. So I did that, and a month or so later I get a basic letter on normal printer paper that says what it needs to say, but it's not on any official letterhead or a stamped seal or anything. It's just like a basic thing typed up in Microsoft Word or whatever. Why couldn't they just email this to me or some shit?

So I showed up to the court date and explain to the DA that my license is suspended due to a clerical error in another state, who has no record of any offenses in their system, and I just yesterday got the clearance letter in the mail. They said "That's fucking stupid, so we'll drop the ticket completely if you can bring us back a valid license within 30 days."

Went to the DMV that day, waited a couple hours and it turns out their fax machine is broken so they can't send the paperwork into the central office or whatever. Went back the following week, line out the door, no fucking way I have time for this shit.
Went in today cause I have the day off (oh, BTW, kid #2 popped out last night so I took the rest of the week off). After waiting for THREE FUCKING HOURS they call me up, I explain the situation again, give them the stupid clearance letter, and after faxing it off and waiting a few minutes a call comes in from the central whateverthefuck saying that it isn't good enough.
NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH?!
I explain again, that's the fucking letter they sent me so either it's fucking good enough or I'll happily not spend the money on the license and keep driving around as I have been. They won't budge, so I left and still don't have a license.

Now I get to go back and explain to the DA that yes, apparently our DMV will suspend you if another state asks them to but no, a letter from the other sate saying you're clear isn't good enough for them to lift the suspension.


This is easily in the top 3.... maybe top 5... dumbest fucking things I've ever experienced.

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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 08-08-2018, 08:51 PM   #4394
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Default Re: the FUCK YOU thread

holy fuck...


i dont even wanna ask about 1 or 2.
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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 08-08-2018, 09:03 PM   #4395
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Originally Posted by Mongoose View Post
holy fuck...


i dont even wanna ask about 1 or 2.
Number 1.... I'd have to say that's probably the time I had to find my own way home from Afghanistan.

Number 2... that's a tough one, I'll have to give it some thought. Probably either the time I was dropped from a course for being sick despite being one of the top performers because they had to cut numbers, or the time I was smoked by my at-the-time team leader because I bought a vehicle without his "permission."



..... I'm noticing a theme here. Dealing with gov't employees.

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Everything should be turbo'd, and what the fuck is a budget?
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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 08-10-2018, 07:05 PM   #4396
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Originally Posted by mcantar View Post
Number 1.... I'd have to say that's probably the time I had to find my own way home from Afghanistan.
What's it worth to you to expand on this? I really want to know the story!

Your license story is ridiculous.

All my top stories involve the gov't as well. I work for a health insurance/health care contractor that deals with gov't contracts. I'm sure you know one of the programs, TRICARE and possibly the lesser known PCCC (PC3). The stuff they ask us to do is against so many gov't regulations you'd think they were the mob!

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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 08-10-2018, 08:41 PM   #4397
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Originally Posted by MikeGyver View Post
What's it worth to you to expand on this? I really want to know the story!
A ban

Just kidding. Mostly.




First, an update on the license situation.

When the CO peeps told me that the clearance letter from KS wasn't good enough, I asked what WOULD be good enough. To which they said, they want something specifically from the county I got the ticket in, from the county courthouse.

You see, here in CO, if you get a ticket in... Douglas County... and you don't pay it and they suspend your license, you need a clearance letter from the Douglas County courthouse to clear it. That's how it works in my state.

Well I called up the county I got the ticket in, explain to them that I need a clearance letter from their county because that's what my DMV wants, and they tell me "we don't do that." Apparently, in Kansas, all of that stuff is sent up to the state level and handled by their central office they call "Driver Control"... which is who I got the fucking clearance letter from in the first place.
So then I asked if they could give me a letter that says they can't/won't give me a letter... yay, bureaucracy. Nope, they won't do that either, because that's "just not how things are done in Kansas."

So I went into the courthouse this morning to let the DA know that yes, apparently our DMV will suspend you if another state asks them to but no, a letter from the other sate saying you're clear isn't good enough for them to lift the suspension, AND no, the other state will not provide what our state wants to see.

The DA dropped the entire thing completely right then and there. I think they felt bad for me. So at least I don't have any fees/charges/points off my license on that end of things.

I have no idea where to take this from here. I called up an attorney earlier, and they felt that this was more of a problem on Kansas' end and advised I find an attorney in KS.... who's an hour ahead of us and was right about 5pm for them at the time.
So, hopefully I'll make some progress somehow on Monday.





Ok, story time.

The Afghanistan thing was fun. Really.
So I was coming up on my ETS date (the end date of your contract in the Army when you either get out or reenlist). The problem was, we were deployed at the time... to Afg, if you hadn't guessed. So my options were either A) Extend my contract to finish out the deployment or B) Go home early and get the fuck out of the Army.

By that point I was pretty fuckin disenfranchised with the Army. It was 2014, well enough into the major Obama drawdowns... Big Army was cutting people left and right for the dumbest fucking bullshit and fucking people over in pursuit of lower numbers, and we were gearing down our operations in the middle east so nothing really exciting was going on. That deployment was more of a maintenance thing, maintaining pressure/presence in some key areas and supporting other elements (JSOC/Feds/etc) with whatever was needed... which was cool, don't get me wrong, but it was pretty dull compared to how shit used to be.
Then we had a mission that NOBODY was happy about having to do... long story short, it was a bullshit political move that increased the danger to Coalition forces in the region, went against moral judgement and legal precedent, and threw a big middle finger to some Gold Star families. Yay, Obama. And that was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

So, option B it was. My unit bought me a plane ticket out of Bagram and told me to be at the proper building at the proper time to hitch a ride to the airfield.

This is where things got interesting. The thing is, one doesn't simply hop on a plane in Afg, pop some Xan's, and wake up in the western hemisphere. There's a good handful of layovers in various countries for various reasons along the way... change planes, change flight crews, restock food, refuel, etc. But unless it's a chartered flight by a full military unit to take the entire unit from A to B, you aren't getting one flight with some layovers... you just kinda go country hopping. Which is what I did.

So my unit gave me instruction to go to a certain building when the flight got to it's destination in Doha, Qatar. I get off the plane and head to said building, an unassuming building tucked away in the far corner of the base with a completely unfamiliar acronym on the sign out front (and with no explanation of the acronym below it, as there normally is).
I walk into basically a fucking airlock, secured door on the other side and a little desk window on one wall. The dude at the desk starts questioning who the fuck I am and why the fuck I'm there, so I tell him I'm Mac and I have no fucking clue other than my people told me to come here. He asks for various people's contact info, what camp I'm coming from, my badge, etc. Then sends me outside and says he'll be out in a minute.

So an hour or so go by and he comes and tells me I'm good, just a little lack of communication on my unit's part. We go inside, he's showing me around... they have some badass fuckin dorm rooms, clean showers, a full gym, entertainment room with an xbox and stuff, etc. And there's like two other people in the entire fucking place, so it's pretty quiet.
I ask him where the fuck I am/who the fuck are they and he tells me that he can't tell me, but says that they're a Navy facility. Which pretty much explained everything... inter-branch communication is never great, and the Navy usually has nicer shit than the Army does.
And c'mon... Navy facility, "can't tell you who we are"?... I was just working with you motherfuckers a week ago, I know who the fuck you are and you know I have the goddamn clearance to so fuck off with your secret squirrel bullshit.
So then he says the first flight he can get me on departs in about a week and to make myself comfortable.

That was about the time I realized my unit didn't organize fucking anything for me past landing in goddamn Doha.

So I made myself comfortable. There's a sizeable PX (military WalMart, basically) on the air base so I go and pick up some normal, presentable civilian clothes and pack up my uniforms... and god damn did jeans and a well-fitting polo shirt feel fuckin good.
I spent the next week getting my fuckin tan on, hitting the gym, eating well, and enjoying a paid-for vacation in a nice building mostly to myself with absolutely no oversight.

But all good things come to an end and I hop on the plane out of there.
Turns out it's going to Kuwait, an hour and a half or so north. Not exactly making big progress but at least I've been there before and I know where to go and who I can work with there to make things happen.
I wish I'd taken the opportunity to spend more time there, but with no idea where I was and no way to contact me I figured my unit might start wondering what the fuck happened to me and I didn't want them to think I was AWOL or something stupid like that.
From here on out I'm flying Space-A... space available, basically you go wherever has room for you whenever they can take you. So I spent about 36hrs hanging around in the terminal trying to slip onto any flight heading roughly northeast-wards, and eventually got on a plane to Germany with some journalists and a company from some cav unit or some shit.

I hadn't had much opportunity to sleep while I was trying to get on a flight so I pretty much pass the fuck out as soon as I sit down and I wake up a few hours in to a bunch of fuckin noise.
As luck would have it I wound up towards the front of the plane with the officers and shit, and they're making good use of the plane's stock of liquor (this is a commercial flight, not a military one). Apparently while I've been asleep they sized me up and decided that since I'm obviously military, obviously American, and yet there I am traveling alone and in civilian clothes without a clean shave, I must be some kind of supertopsecretdeltasniperseal guy and that they'd better not ask me about it in case I kill them all with my pinky or some stupid shit. So instead they just start buying me shots of whatever they were drinking.

We get to Germany, we're all pretty fuckin drunk but this is the Army and if there's one thing we're good at it's getting the shit we're supposed to do done while being drunk off our asses. I find an airline person to talk to and find out that the next flight to the US is going to Raleigh, NC in about 18hours. Which is about the worst possible time frame it could be, cause it's too short to be worth getting a hotel but too long to comfortably hang around and wait for. Location is perfect though, I was stationed at Ft. Bragg and Raleigh is like a 2hr drive north.
So I figured let's go see Germany. Except by this time I'm really fucking hungry cause the last time I ate was a few hours before the flight out of Kuwait and my body is used to taking in around 6000cal/day in those days. So, I decided to get a bite to eat at one of the airport restaurants while I maybe talk to some locals or hit up the internets to see where to go.

Well, some of the officers from the flight come to the restaurant too and between the amazing German beer and the fact that it was the middle of the day and nothing fun happens in the middle of the day, we ended up sitting there drinking for like 6 fucking hours and then I went and passed the fuck out in the terminal to wait for my next flight.

Then more drinking on the flight, get to Raleigh, spend the $80 or whatever on a flight down to Fayetteville, taxi to base, and I'm home.


I honestly had a pretty good time.

Then I got the fuck out of the Army.

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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 08-10-2018, 08:45 PM   #4398
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I called Amazon about my kid's kindle not working:
Me: My son's kindle fire is not responding and has a black screen. I'd like to return it for warranty repairs.
Amazon: Thank you, I see the order on my screen. Have you contacted the manufacturer?
Me: Yes
Amazon: what did they say?
Me: they haven't said anything yet
Amazon: they need to tell you if they will fix it under warranty
Me: Ok. Will you fix it under warranty?

3 friendly people and 37 minutes later I get to send it in.

I blame Shiny for tarnishing my clean Amazon track record.

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Quote:
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yell, "Built not bought mother fucker!" in there face and then spit on their bike and walk off.
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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 08-10-2018, 08:47 PM   #4399
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Oooh, I'll read that story tonight. Trust me, the ban hammer is slipping from my sweaty tired hand

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yell, "Built not bought mother fucker!" in there face and then spit on their bike and walk off.
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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 08-11-2018, 09:33 PM   #4400
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Default Re: the FUCK YOU thread

You make that trip actually sound not that bad...
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