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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 02-01-2020, 04:06 PM   #1
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Default Project Alice (or...... fucking up four wheels)

Things have been quiet round here lately, and after the last respray on Thorburt I havnt done much in the garage at all.....

My tools have done nothing but collect dust and there boxes have become the tombs to many a dried up spider husk.


...but all was not lost.

No! 2018 was spent riding the tits of it & miraculously nothing broke, fell off or even suggested it wanted to fail
2019 was similar....ish

I.E. still nothing broke and riding was done

... but 2019 saw my shoulder give up instead.
This made riding sometimes awkward but alright & on others. impossible due to the pain.

Ok... admittedly I could ride one handed. But as itís my right shoulder and I havnt mastered using the throttle with my left hand. This technique tended to just result in coasting to a stop

Iíd hoped it woulda sorted itself out by now. But it hasnít

Anyway.... thoughts of not being able to piss around on the bike (as much as I like) made me start thinking of alternative ways to make noise and pollute the countryside.
The end of last summer saw Mrs bobs MR2 being utilised for this task....

Admittedly not as much fun as the bike.. but beggars canít be choosers and as a bonus any speeding tickets would be headed Mrsbobs way Bwahahahaha!

.......however this four wheeled fun wasnít to last and suddenly came crashing to an end when some nob jockey, in a Range Rover, reversed over the MR2s bonnet.

With the Toyota written off I encouraged Mrs Bob to get another toy for me to abuse.... err, I mean use..... and she duly went out and brought one

Much to my disappointment, she decided not to replace the two seater with something similar but instead came home with a sportage.....

What the fuck is that box?.....A fucking Kia!?....how the hell am I going to ramp around in that!!!!!!. Iíd rather walk! *

....anywho. Knowing I wanted a plaything for when I couldnít ride, Mrs bob suggested ďwhy donít you buy a car for yourselfĒ
At first I dismissed the idea. Then after a couple of trips in the sportage I warmed to it...

I missed the MR2, it reminded me of my days of owning a spitfire and the fun I had in my old mk2 escort and the riot that was country lanes in a mini. But with the MR2 scrapped it was either a boring Kia or Nothing!!!

So.... after 20 years of not having a car I decided it was time I got another one

But as I find most tedious, dull & uninspiring i decided if I was gunna buy a cage I needed one I could butcher and make my own.


* this statement is a lie.... Iíd never rather walk. But if Iím driving a Kia, Iíll be wearing a paper bag and claim I walked


As long as I fall, I don't hit the ground. As long as I fall, I'm safe & sound.


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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 02-01-2020, 04:51 PM   #2
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So... the hunt was on.

But as the newer cars are all samey to me and have all sorts of electronic gizmos and doohickeys I really can’t be arsed with. And the ones I like..... I can’t afford. The question was what to get?

After pondering this for a while I decided, whatever it was it had to be something I could make my own. Something I could build to complement the GSXR. In essence something I could have a laugh with when I weren’t able to ride.....

..... I also wanted something I could tinker with, modify, and wouldn’t take up to much room.
Something that if I didn’t use it wouldn’t be costing me a fortune to have sitting on the drive!...

......and before I even started looking. I’d already planned bubble arches, wide wheels. Stupid tuner shit! Engine swaps!!

having owned numerous shitboxes in the past, I’m not new to cars.... I just never found them as much fun as bikes. But I must admit I did have some fun adventures with many off them and loved driving the wheels off them *

..and I decided a classic mini would meet my requirements perfectly.
1. It costs fuck all to insure.
2. Parts are cheep.... even upgraded shit
3. They great fun on twisty winded roads which we have an abundance off

...and I didn’t care what model as long as it wasn’t full of rust because if I didn’t like something it would be changed to my liking

unlike bikes these stupid boxes have a habit of rotting away to nothing..and my welding shit.... so I don’t want that

And after some surching I acquired a classic example of fine British workmanship...



....it broke down the day I collected it


*literaly on one occasion .... when my own front wheel over took me on a roundabout. Which was funny when I thought it was someone else’s .... not so funny when I went to exit the roundabout and promptly scraped to a halt on a broken axle

As long as I fall, I don't hit the ground. As long as I fall, I'm safe & sound.


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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 02-01-2020, 05:56 PM   #3
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Default Re: Project Alice (or...... fucking up four wheels)

so.... my requirements were simple.

1xmini

Model, engine, everything else didnít matter. As long as it not full of rust!
my thoughts were..I gunna change it so it donít matter as long as the shells good.
A good engine would be nice but not essential as it could always have a new one or a conversion to a bike one...... oooh! I like that idea


Anyway I got wind of an uninspiring Mayfair that apparently had not been used for the last few years but..... had had the rust sorted.

Mrs Bob drove me the two hundred mines to view it. But Iíd already decided Iíd have it as long as the rust wasnít there.

I wasnít expecting much and that day saw the heaviest most possistent torrent of rain for some time so things werenít looking good.

However... the mini did. New floor pan, new boot floor, new sills.. nothing but some minor surface rust so I bought it.

And the trip home was eventful!

First it leaked.... fuck did it leak. Within 50miles I had an inch of the weather in the foot wells
It also had no heater........
And I mean NO heater... not just broken... there wasnít one.... well if there was I still ainít found it and it not where it should be
.......the rain was cold
No heater & rain ment it kept steaming up

When we hit the motorway it ran fine but I struggled to see anything and the trip was made even more complicated as it turned out the crappy electronic dash and Speedo that had been fitted from something equally as badly produced as any British laylend car was unreliable at best.

Turned out to be 50% wrong ...I.E I cursed at 40 down the motorway and miraculously kept up with the flow of traffic that turned out to be doing 80

Well I said I wasnít expecting much but a speedo would have been nice...hell with the amount of rain coming in Speadoís would have been good too

But that was only the first problem....

We made it to some services half way home and I dried out a bit before the couch packed up as I tried to continue my merry way home

Some oil and a bit of gentle persuasion got the levers working again and we continued our trip... but the crappy clocks decided to blink and shit the bed a few miles later.
I didnít care, I already hated them......

.and the hideous white leatherette dashboard they were sat in

.....then the lights flickered on and off....

50 miles from home and the engine dies..... then bumps itself back int life.....

.......then dies.

But the car restarted easily enough and we carry on.....

....only to have to stop a few miles later when I spot the dash flickering back into life and also lotsa random electrical gremlins poking there noses into my trip..

...turned out the spare seat frame in the boot had bounced onto the battery and was shorting across the terminals...

Anyway.... we got home

And the day after I got to fighterising it when I christened it by ripping out the dash.

Since then (November) itís not moved...

...but it does have a new dash, new electrics and itís new look is rapidly taking shape.




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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 02-01-2020, 06:19 PM   #4
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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 02-01-2020, 06:23 PM   #5
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Default Re: Project Alice (or...... fucking up four wheels)



...howíd I know that was coming

Unfortunately there ainít any yet... itís spent today having me poke around finishing the dash electrics and random jobs ready to, hopefully, fire it up tomorrow and get it out from behind the truck.......

.....then I can take some pictures

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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 02-08-2020, 09:49 AM   #6
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Default Re: Project Alice (or...... fucking up four wheels)

Entertaining as always. Wow. I can’t imagine going 20 years without a car. That’s fantastic. I thought it was funny you said an old mini is a cheap car to buy and/or fix. Over in the states an old mini SHELL will go for close to 10,000. Nothing cheap about those here.

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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 02-14-2020, 04:37 AM   #7
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Default Re: Project Alice (or...... fucking up four wheels)

Classic Minis have greatly increased in price over the last few years in the UK Adam, especially Coopers and the like (and, much to my chagrin, Minivans and pick-ups are stoopid prices) but the price of parts is still fantabulously cheap.
I still want to own a Mini pick-up though...
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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 02-14-2020, 01:30 PM   #8
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Default Re: Project Alice (or...... fucking up four wheels)

MDM is right Adam....

The Mini itself is going up in value but the parts are still cheep and readily available.
Donít think there anything you canít get?...

well as far as I know they are... probably find something breaks the minute I start using it and itíll coincidently be as rare as rocking horse shit and totally unavailable

...anywho. Things didnít go quite to plan the other week.

Got the dash in. Fired up ok...

..... but the new (to me. EbY piece of shit) heater immediately shit the bed and filled my passenger footwell with water.
So didnít move it and couldnít really get any pics ...

But, as I donít wanna get lynched by an angry mob screaming for photos, hereís a taster.....





Dash is now back out. But the storm last weekend prevented anything from being done
And as we forecast another this weekend I doubt Iíll be doing anything but hiding from it







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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 02-14-2020, 01:47 PM   #9
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I was kinda hoping for it to be lime green...

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Old Streetfighter Motorcycle Forum Post 02-14-2020, 01:57 PM   #10
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Default Re: Project Alice (or...... fucking up four wheels)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattson View Post
I was kinda hoping for it to be lime green...
oooooa...... er.. No!

Was all white (except the roof) when I got it. knew that would have to go immediately

And, well.... I have previous convictions for Orange, And I like it so...

Orange and black will once again be the order of the day*







*untill I change my mind before ever finishing it like usual




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