Random thoughts...

[Kaos]

Tell her Kaos said to suck a dick....

Random thought: Don't eat pizza at 1am. Especially don't eat shitty ass Chicken Yiros Pizza at 1am...More to the point don't eat fucking day old Chicken Yiros Pizza combined with BBQ Chicken Pizza and Some Other Pizza of which it's name escapes me, at 1am....
And I whinge I'm fat.....
I already had fuckin Barnacle Bills today....plus I sat here eating Nutella out of a jar....
Ah fuckit, I'm gonna drown my lard ass sorrows with a nice big NON Diet Coke and a cancer stick....

[mikey]

True story:

I went on a horribly bad date once where my "date" was setting me up for a freind of hers who turned out to be the least fun woman on the planet. The was so un-fun, she actually removed fun from the room by simply being in it. She never got a single joke ANYBODY made, and was generally the "I'm hot so I can be a bitch" type. So were all sitting around a table talking, and some guy at the bar leans over and does the "vag lick" mation to one of the women there. Everybody starts blurting out their personal fave phrase for licking the slit, when one woman says "What about blow jobs?". That's when Ms life-of-the-party chimes in. She says "I don't even know why the call it a blow job. You suck, not blow. I don't even do that anyway. It's disgusting". The entire table went silent. You could have heard a pin drop and EVERYBODY was staring at her. The first woman chimes in with "I gotta hear this.". My "date" says "A man only needs penetration to have an orgasm and I can do that with my hand and he doesn't even have to be inside. He does't require a blowjob or penetration" The other woman asks her if the man should eat her out. My "date" says "Yes, I do require that for an orgasm". So the first woman says "Let me get this straight. You won't do anything but give a guy a hand job, but he has to muff dive on you until you cum. No wonder you're still single".

At this point, the unfunnest woman on the planet turns to me and says "Rachel said you were funny. Be funny".

I turned to her and said. "You can go fuck yourself. Cause I sure as hell won't be doing it tonight".

The lady sitting next to me started laughing so hard she shot beer out of her nose and her husband fell off his barstool.

The next day Rachel asked me what went wrong., I told her what her friend said and she said "Why would any woman actually ADMIT to that before she gets hers done? What an idiot." She still probably wonders why I never called her.

[mikey]

Random thought: Shaved balls stick to the side of your leg like one of those wall sticky hand things you get out of the bubble gum machines in front of the grocery stores.

[mikey]

Originally Posted by 999 Customs

My friends sister just said she doesn't suck dick because she is not...
1. Unattractive
2. fat

Exhibit B. Wanna guess which one she is...

Dude, she's a 2 am beauty queen. They're the ones that you settle for when the bar closes only because it's better than beating off in the parking lot, but not by much.

[Kaos]

FOOKIN REPPED mate. I just laughed my fat arse off over your bloody story. FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!

And yes, shaved balls do have that sticky hand tendency!!

[VT420]

Originally Posted by 999 Customs

My friends sister just said she doesn't suck dick because she is not...
1. Unattractive
2. fat
<snip>

Exhibit B. Wanna guess which one she is...

first off she is a little on the big side, and sure isn't pretty in my book.
she's the girl the kind of hot chicks keep around to make themselves look better/feel better about themselves

-Jeff

[999 Customs]

Ahh fuckin a I love this place... I have had my Dick sucked by girls with a big ass and big ass girls, tiny little bitches and ones old enough to be my mother, and only one of em was ugly... but in my defence, she was a good sport, she let me set my Chinese take-out on her back while she was paying homage to the ol German helmet. I had to put it somewhere, I always eat when I watch football...

[999 Customs]

1st beer of the day Is always the coldest...

[The YZF Kid]

soo many parts i need to get. soo little time and money

[999 Customs]

Men that say pussy tastes like shit are eating the wrong hole.