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BLACK BELT
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Discussion Starter #41
This shit sucks. Cancer meds are fucking me up.

Have hardly slept for almost a month. If I fall asleep, my temp goes sky high and I wake up. Have to jump out of bed fast so it doesn't get soaking wet. Then I stand in front of a big fan until I cool and dry off. Can happen 20 times per night. About every 15 min.

Just about at the end of my rope.

Had to start taking some benzos. Still can't sleep, but keeps me from snapping.

Not sure if things will get better, for a while, or keep getting worse.

Just stay in bed and save up my energy to ride to RAD tx every day.

Haven't missed a day of riding, yet. :rock:
 

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V four honda whore
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12,291 Posts
cancer is a bitch that should get kick in the nuts...
 
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BLACK BELT
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Discussion Starter #44
Only have one more radiation treatment on Monday. Not sure how things will go after that.

Feels like 4 red-hot pokers burning me 24/7. Each side, front & back, where the beams are targeted.

I can take the pain, but I'm more than half dead from the medications.

Just doing what I can, for now. Mostly from bed. Bike projects are moving forward.

Job contract only protects me for a year. Wasn't getting paid, anyway - but the medical coverage will now cost me a shitload.

Oh, well. Bike projects still give me hope and dreams of accomplishment. :knucks:

Not dead yet, mofos....
 

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BLACK BELT
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Discussion Starter #45
The tech usually plays old school reggae for me during my treatments.

Yesterday, he said something wasn't working, so just had whatever rock music is on internet radio.

Whatever song ended, and as my treatment started - what (random) song comes on?

Blue Oyster Cult. Don't Fear The Reaper. Are you fucking kidding?

Great song. If I make it home for xmas, I'm singing it for karaoke!

Fucking reaper better fear me.
 

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BLACK BELT
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6,913 Posts
Discussion Starter #48
Any word on the effectiveness of the treatments yet, Smoker?
Not sure, yet. Not supposed to kill all the cancer cells, but hopefully will buy me some more (good) time. Also depends if I have to stay on these meds. Don't know how much I can come back from the meds, or how long it would take for the side effects to wear off.

Probably have to wait for a while to get an accurate PSA. Might get one Monday, just to see where it's at.

The thing is, it grew back fast after the surgery, so even if my levels are low, could still come back fast. Kaiser doesn't have the best testing, either. Not trying to be negative, just realistic.

Better not waste any time.

No RAD Saturday or Sunday, so will try to DW on bikes.
 

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V four honda whore
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so thats why you have changed your profile pic?
 
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BLACK BELT
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Discussion Starter #53
One of my internet 2-stroke buddies lives only an hour away.

Dude that loaned me his TIG for YEARS. :D

Dude that invited me to have Thanksgiving dinner with his family.

Dude that invited me to be with his family on Christmas day.

Because he knew I'd be alone, and because we share a special enthusiasm for bikes. :knucks:
 

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V four honda whore
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12,291 Posts
So you are like one of those relative that isnt a relative!?
 
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BLACK BELT
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Discussion Starter #56
So you are like one of those relative that isnt a relative!?
Yeah. Kind of weird, but touching.

Truth is, I'm too fucked up to go. Bad news is I need another surgery ASAP. Will probably be mid-January, not sure. Problem caused by the last surgery.

Pretty sure most people die from the cancer treatments, not the actual cancer.

Will have to lose my money for the airline tickets. Very risky to travel home and be far from a hospital.

Whatever. Gotta deal with the good, and the bad. I'll have some beer and weed, and be happy I'm still alive and have bike projects to occupy my mind.

Not too sick to jump on a bike and twist the throttle a bit. That's always good medicine.... :D
 

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V four honda whore
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12,291 Posts
Yeah, i think bikes helps most of us with mental health.actually not only bikrs. Did some snow hooning with subaru today. Feel refreshed.

Sucks about operation... Keep up posted, we do care about you.
 

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Super Moderator
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Second that. Mainly not commenting cus dunno WTF to say... Power to you brother.
 
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Respect can't be bought.
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It pains me in a way I don't think I could ever accurately explain to someone who is not part been part of this group when I hear things like this. I hate reading stuff like this, your in my thoughts smoker.
 
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