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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well the inevitable has finally come. My mother has been battling cancer for 13 years now and it looks like it's finally caught up to her. There's a tumour around the nerve that controls her breathing and speech that is slowly both eating away at and constricting said nerve. The sad part is that she had just had brain surgery not even 4 months ago and everything seemed to be looking up despite the fact that the cancer was terminal. Well, sad isn't really the best word in all honesty; she's been counting her days since last year. What's killing me right now is seeing the effects slowly progress. Her voice is starting the become more and more faint, her memory is becoming more and more clouded, her decision making ability is disappearing, etc. Regardless, I'm just glad we as a family can all be at peace now. I know I haven't been around this forum for very long at all (2 weeks maybe?), but I've always had a lack of an outlet for my negative thoughts, as much as I hate to let them out. I try to look for the positives in life, even in a situation as dire as this. Yet, losing someone who has been around you for so long can't really be anything short of heartbreaking and despite all my efforts to accept the reality of the situation, I struggle to keep my thoughts away from the negatives here. I'm posting this thread now only because of the fact that I can see the process begin to unfold and in all honesty my mother is becoming less and less the person I have known for so long as each day passes. You might say that she dies a little every day. It's interesting how dealing with a disease for so long can be so insignificant in the grand scheme of things to one person, though. Despite all the pain, suffering, discomfort, etc., my mother has been just about as close to a healthy person as I could have imagined her being. She would come with us on trips, even go on them alone, she's go on walks with us, clean, yell at us for being bad, give us life advice. I think this is why it's so difficult for me and the rest of us; we've never really seen her as being sick. Regardless, I've grown old enough to accept the fact that life is one of the most finite resources on this planet and is readily exhausted at an unimaginable rate. My mother will live on through her memory, just like her parents and my father's do. I just want her to know we'll all miss the times we shared while she was still alive and that no matter what we'll always love her.
 

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Here on CF is your outlet for thoughts.....positive, or negative & it's alright to voice them. I'm so sorry all of you are going through this. It's a very sad time & only helps a bit, knowing that she will soon be free & eternally well. Sounds like she's a good & loving woman & you've all been blessed to share her time here. Just remember that love never dies. Our bodies may die, but our love stays strong for eternity & you'll feel that when you need her in the times ahead.


We may not know you yet kooky871, but you've joined our family which makes you one of us. Post whenever you feel the need for a sympathetic ear, or just need a break from the seriousness of your surroundings. May God bless your Mom & all of you....


:emomssmilie:
 

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Here to F stuff up
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I'll have your family in my thoughts and prayers man. I know it's never easy loosing a close family member. I don't know if this will help, but the perspective I've always tried to see death from is that instead of focusing on the decline and loss of a person, remember each and every good thing you can remember about them. When you think of your mom, remember how beautiful of a person she was, not how she left. Because in the end, that's all we have, is the good memories of the people we hold dear. But in the end, it's enough. And you have another family here that'll give you a shoulder to lean on when you need it.

Keep on fightn'.
 

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Your in my prayers man, and like mom said, you can tell us anything and your apart of the family now. Idk what that guy said that you told to drink bleach but he'll get driven out one way or another.

I've never lost a parent but i have seen someone i loved become a vegetable but they still moved and seemed to look at you... Your mother seems like a very strong woman and remember as such. Diseases suck, but thats not who a person is or was.

Remember her for everything she did for you and your family and who she was, just like you said, she was everything she could be despite the illness.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Your in my prayers man, and like mom said, you can tell us anything and your apart of the family now. Idk what that guy said that you told to drink bleach but he'll get driven out one way or another.

I've never lost a parent but i have seen someone i loved become a vegetable but they still moved and seemed to look at you... Your mother seems like a very strong woman and remember as such. Diseases suck, but thats not who a person is or was.

Remember her for everything she did for you and your family and who she was, just like you said, she was everything she could be despite the illness.
Thanks so much for the kind words. The guy before said "Where is she buried so I can dig her up and get up in DAT dead ass??" I personally find it funny that someone would go digging four months back through this section to say that to anybody. Regardless, it's been three months and some change since she died and we've all more or less come to terms with reality. Like you said she lived a fulfilling life by her own admission and now she gets to live on on our memories.
 

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Damn dude this thread is some heavy stuff. So sorry for your loss. And to the person that said that to you, I doubt it would be said if there wasn't a screen preventing the damage from happening that would be dished out had that been a face to face scenario. Damn I feel old remembering a time when people either got handled rough for saying stupid things, or didn't say them at all considering the options given in how it plays out saying such incredibly insensitive things to people you don't know... read a few rather insensitive comments on news articles after my dad lost his life on a motorcycle and realized nobody opens their mouth when they have to look you in the eye and say it.
 

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Sorry bro, just keep your head. Stick around and you'll find that we as a whole got your back. Some of us know where you at and what your going through.
 
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